


Here Lies Jack Dalton Man Whore

by BookWyrm07



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: But it's funny, Dark Humor, F/M, Fluff and Crack, I promise, Jack is dead, M/M, Past Relationship(s), WTF, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 07:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18139082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookWyrm07/pseuds/BookWyrm07
Summary: At Jack's wake the Phoenix team learn exactly how close he really was to most of them.





	Here Lies Jack Dalton Man Whore

The reception hall was filled with mourners. Somber people wearing black, some crying others in small groups talking. At the front of the room, surrounded by flowers was a large portrait of a man in an army dress uniform.

Bozer sniffed back a tear. “After all the missions, surviving the terrorists, the bombs, a super virus, and the mighty Jack Dalton falls to bad baba ganoush.” 

Mac gave him a pat on the back. “I know. It seems so wrong.” He shook his head. “He always insisted on Egyptian food on Cairo day. I told him it was stupid, but he wouldn't listen.”

Desi sat down at their table with a bottle of Jose Cuervo, and threw back a shot. “I hate funerals.”

“Technically, this is a wake. Funerals need the body present. His body is already buried in Texas,” Mac said his voice detached. She glared at him. “I know. Not the point. I hate these things, too.”

She poured a few more shots offering one to Mac and Bozer. They accepted with a nod off thanks. “It isn't just funerals or wakes. It's Jack. I can't believe he's really gone. Seems like just yesterday when…”

“When you were stuck in a long mission, in a life or death situation and things became... Less than professional,” Matty suggested, downing one of the shots. Desi's mouth opened in surprise. “Don't tell me you thought you were the only woman he slept with on a mission? Dalton was a notorious man whore. I would be surprised if there is a woman here, other than Riley, he didn't sleep with.”

“This is not a conversation I want any part of,” Riley said, leaving the table.

Mac looked at his boss in surprise. “I always suspected there was something personal that went bad between the two of you.”

“Yeah, we dated, then he came back from an opp with Thorton, and it was obvious what had happened, so I dumped his ass and made his life hell until re-enlisting sounded better than working with me.”

“Thorton!?” Bozer yelled, “our old treasonous boss? That Thorton?” Matty just nodded.

“I'll take one of those, please,” said an Australian accent. Samantha Cage leaned her cane against the table as she sat. Desi slid it to her across the table. The blond woman slammed the empty shot glass down. “Did we really all do the naughty with Jack?”

Sarah stood behind the table. Her arms crossed. “Who here slept with Jack?” she loudly addressed the room. 

They watched in horror as every woman in the room, except for Riley and Nikki raised her hand. Mac did a double take when he saw two men, close to Jack's age, also raise their hands. “What happens in Kuwait stays in Kuwait,” the first one said.

“Same with basic,” the other man added. Mac noticed they were holding hands.

“Just think,” Bozer said, “Dawn isn't even here.”

“Jack? His real name was Jack?” an angry woman with black hair, brown skin and eyes. She threw a glass of wine at the portrait. “First it was Duke, then we meet again and he says he's Bryce. Now, you all say he's Jack. I say I'm glad he at my baba ganoush.”

Desi's fist collided with the woman's face. She fell to the ground in an unconscious heap. “That sounded like a murder confession to me. Matty?” The director was already pulling out her phone.


End file.
